“You don’t have to go. Please.”
“We do have to mom. It’s been getting worse.”
“How long between the flashes?”
“He says there’s been one a day but I know that there are more than that.”
An expletive. Loud and full of pain echoed in the bar. Then again there were barely any in the bar to hear it. Much less those who were awake to care that it had been said. But nonetheless, between the two women, the younger glared at the older sharply, “Stop that. What if she hears?”
“What the pup? She’s in bed. I put her there myself.”
“I know mom but we both know she doesn’t sleep well. Not like she should be,” The woman lowered her head, her silver hair covering her face like the veil of a widow. She brushed her hair back and stared at the older woman.
The similarity between the two of them was a step more than familial. There could be no denying the blood between them. She turned and looked toward the back of the bar. To the staircase that led to the loft above. A place for a small child to call her own.
“I wish I could see her one more time,” the woman whispered.
“Come now Lorlei. You talk like this is the last time we will speak to one another,” she said trying to force out a laugh though it wasn’t exactly believable to herself. Staring into her daughter’s eyes she could begin to see them to change. The soft blues turning to red, multiplying in such a subtle way that she wondered if it was a trick. But she knew better.
“You and I both know the truth of this situation mom,” she said and a hush fell on them.
“I know but that don’t mean I have to like it. I’ll face the truth in the morning. Which means I can spend this night drinking and lying to myself.”
A pause as she stared at her daughter and finally embraced her tightly. Wrapped her arms around her tightly and sighed. Though Lorlei stood much taller than her mother at this point, in her embrace she felt young. Like a child again. She didn’t want to let her go. But after a few minutes passed she had to.
“I love you mom.”
“I love you too.”
Lorlei let go and finally walked out the door. It closed behind her not with a slam but a soft thud. The old woman stared at the door for a very long moment and hit her fist against the door frame. Frustration’s screaming her mind. She swore under her breath, fighting the urge to cry. But she didn’t.
Instead, she heard a loud creak behind her. She whirled around, her eyes piercing through the darkness. Face torn between a smirk and a snarl she shouted, “Pup I swear you better be in bed!”
“I am!”
Rolling her eyes, she scoffed and walked up the stairs slowly. She walked over to the stairs and started ascending them. She could see the little girl crouched down, holding her knees to her chest. Her white hair gleaming in the darkness. She looked at her with brilliant blue eyes that would have once put her mother’s to shame.
Snow stared up at her grandmother, eyes that asked innocent questions whose answers were too heavy for her head. So instead, she picked her up and walked her toward her bed in the loft. “Pup’s like you should be in bed. Not wandering around at night.”
“Where’s mommy going? Where’s daddy?”
“You ask too many questions little pup,” she said brushing her fingers through her hair. Walking her back to her room she was already contemplating how to explain to her that her parents wouldn’t come back. That the curse of their family had claimed two more. But in her mind, she was sure that the little girl already knew this.
“Come on Snow. Time for you to go back to bed.”
“No. I don’t want to go to bed,” she mumbled already falling asleep. “I want to see mommy.”
“They’ll be okay pup. And you will too.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
It was dimly lit where ever she was. It smelled like stale wood and mothballs. She wondered if she was in someone’s attic. Or maybe she was in her old loft again. That was a novel thought. Being back home. She was definitely far away from home now. She wondered what her gran would say if she could see her now.
She started to stand up and realized that she couldn’t. Not easily. Jerking with her arms she felt that they were bound behind her. She also realized that she was mostly naked. She was wearing Ryza’s cloak and there was a blanket around her legs so she was covered. As the grogginess faded she could hear voices. Or rather a voice arguing with itself.
“I’ve restrained her the best I could.”
Pause.
“No I haven’t dressed her. I couldn’t violate her privacy that way.”
Pause.
“W-what? You and Isaac? I-I’m not as b-bold as you!”
Pause.
“What do you mean she’s awake?”
Narrowing her eyes Snow finally saw through the darkness. It was hard to really get a solid look at her since she wore all black in whatever dim light they were in. But as she turned around to face her she could see the silver of her eyes. Ryza stared at her from across the room but she didn’t move.
“Hey Ryry. Nice place you found us. I gotta ask, why am I tied up. Can’t say I wouldn’t try anything once but this is not how I’d do it on the first shot.”
Ryza raised her eyebrow but didn’t approach her. “Sorry but you need to be restrained for now. What do you remember from a few days ago?”
“A few days? You mean yesterday?”
“It’s been three days. You’ve been asleep this entire time.”
“What?” she frowned blinking quickly. She tried to hold her chin but remembered her arms were restrained. So instead she focused on remembering, trying to find the logic in what she was saying because it didn’t make any sense to her. She remembered getting the horse with Ryza. She remembered riding out of the town, Radiant, with her. But after that things were hazy. She couldn’t remember what happened. No matter how hard she tried.
Just getting close to it made her head ache suddenly. She whimpered and closed her eyes. “Why can’t I remember? What happened?”
Ryza stared at her, really stared at her and gasped softly. “You really don’t remember, do you? You really are cursed.”
“I mean yeah. That’s what I told you.”
Ryza shook her head and approached slowly. She stopped in front of her, keeping her shovel in hand. She looked at her and she was looking at her like she was dangerous. She’d grown up with that look.
She’d thought that Ryza would be different at least. But Snow stared at her and for the first time, she properly looked at her. She saw the bandages along her face and her throat. But something inside her bristled, told her that she was dangerous. To be on her guard.
She sat up and narrowed her eyes, “I know that look. Just didn’t think I’d see it from you. Guess that’s my fault. Gran warned me about being naïve. Especially around a pretty face.”
“You didn’t see what you did Snow. You almost killed me.”
“What? That’s bullshit. I wouldn’t do that-“ she said and hesitated as her headache came back. She bit her lip trying to remember what happened. There were easier lies to tell. Easier excuses to see her as dangerous. Accusing Snow of this didn’t sit right. But she barely knew Ryza.
“Since you know what happened why don’t you tell me what I did. Refresh my memory.”
Snow glared at her and felt something more in her glare. A fire that burned inside her and made her flex her fingers. She fought against her bonds for a second but couldn’t make headway. Half of her was irritated but the other half wanted to hear what happened. Ryza was looking at her and there was something in her eyes. Hesitation? Why was she hesitating?
Ryza took a slow breath and a seriousness entered her gaze. One that even made Snow get on guard. Ryza asked her, “What’s the last thing you remember Snow?”
“Riding with you on the horse. Falling asleep. And. I don’t know. I’ve got a headache,” she winced. “Why does my head hurt so much?”
“Probably because of what happened,” Ryza said softly and then told her everything of what happened. The attack from the demon, Snow’s transformation, and then her turning on her. Ryza fighting her off and then forcing her to change back. And then the journey to this inn.
When she stopped speaking it had gotten lighter in the room and she was leaning against the back wall. Snow stared at the ground shaking her head, “Ryry. That sounds insane. Like really really insane. I’ve never transformed into something that big before. And I’d never attack you.”
“That’s where this came from,” Ryza said pointing at her cheek and the heavy bandage present. And then the ones at her throat. “It was from your claws when I forced you to transform back.”
Snow stared at her. She was horrified not just because of what happened but because she could feel it. Feel her claws going through her cheek. Feel her skin splitting open and blood splashing against her hand. And she liked it. She had been satisfied with wounding the person that had tried to hurt her.
She felt disgusted and looked away from her. Shutting her eyes her shoulders slumped down. And then it all came rushing into her mind. The headaches, the pain that rocked her body, the urge to protect Ryza. And then she remembered the adrenaline surge. And then her mind went blank. Snippets of a roar, of her claws tearing through flesh, of relishing in the death of an opponent. And then like a laser she zeroed in on one specifically. A mage that stood in her path. A mage that was dangerous. One that had to be eliminated.
A voice, no an instinct that echoed through her being that said to kill the threat to their person. To kill the thing that posed the most danger to them. And in a crystal clear moment that being had been Ryza. Her heart almost stopped as she saw the way that she had looked at her for a moment. As something so dangerous she couldn’t have been ignored.
She reached the sobering conclusion of what had happened, what could have happened and she shuddered. She shook her head back and forth but she didn’t once look at Ryza. It was in bits and pieces of her memory but she saw what had happened. She saw herself attack Ryza. Nearly kill her.
Snow shut her eyes and felt them sting with tears but she didn’t want to cry. She refused to do that now. She looked at Ryza as she crouched in front of her. She stared at her friend and couldn’t look her in the eye. Not just because she tried to kill her. But because part of her regretted not finishing the job.
She didn’t feel like herself. She felt like she was sitting in the body of a stranger. A stranger that wanted blood. That wanted to fight. That wanted to rip and tear and kill. It was like the first time she changed, the first time she’d become her other self and realized that she would never be the same again.
“What is happening to me gran?” she mumbled.
She could hear her voice now as her first change began, ‘I had hoped the curse would leave you alone. Finally let someone in this family have some peace. It’s going to feel like you aren’t you anymore. A new you will be born out of this curse. It’ll tell you things. It’ll try and take you over. You’ll have to be strong. Never give it ground. Don’t let it turn you into a monster.’
Blinking quickly Snow tried to make the tears go away. To fight the pressure that was compounding inside her. “I don’t know if I’m stronger than this curse gran.”
Hands found their way onto her cheeks and Snow looked up to Ryza. The glow from her silver eyes was entrancing. She couldn’t look away from them even if she wanted to.
“Why?” Snow asked.
“Why what?” Ryza repeated.
“Why didn’t you kill me? Why keep me alive here?”
“Because I don’t want to kill someone just because they were born unlucky. You’re more than your curse. I’ve had enough of watching people I care about dying. I’m going to figure out how to help you.”
“Help me?”
“I don’t know a lot about demons but I know people who do.”
“Demons? What are you talking about?” Snow asked still confused.
“Your curse. The thing inside you. It’s a demon. I’ve met two people who house demons inside them. You remind me of them. When you change it possesses you a little, sharing its being with yours. But this most recent time it truly took over. If I hadn’t pulled your soul back into control I don’t know if you’d have come back.”
The light in Ryza’s eyes died down and they returned to that familiar grey. She looked at the scratch that was across Ryza’s cheek and realized she caused it. “So you’re saying you saved me.”
Ryza nodded slowly, “It was lucky. If I had failed you would have killed me.”
Snow looked at her, really looked at her and laughed. She leaned forward and kissed her. It was short and Snow could see the gears in Ryza’s head suddenly stopping. The words and ideas in her mind ceased to function and everything came to a grinding halt. Snow just grinned at her though. “That’s a thank you for saving my life twice now.”
Ryza blinked, her mind rebooting finally. She looked at Snow and then felt her cheeks tingling again and shook her head. “You’re welcome. And uh. You’re welcome. So uh. Yeah.”
Snow laughed, grinning at her, “You’re just the best. But. Can you untie me?”
“Untie you. Oh. Yes. I’m sorry. It was a precaution,” she rushed behind Snow, fiddled with the ropes until she removed the knot. Once it fell Snow stood up rubbing her wrists slowly. The blanket fell and Ryza immediately looked away getting to her feet. “Right. I’ll let you get dressed. I found some clothes that I think will fit you. Besides I have some work to do.”
“Work? I thought you knew where your brother’s journals were already.”
“I do but it can wait. Plus, it’s not going anywhere. You need help first,” she said glancing back at her. “My guess is this won’t be the last time it happens. And next time it may take you over fully. So we have to stop that.”
Snow paused pulling a shirt over her head. “You’re doing all this for me? Why?”
Ryza gave her a small smile and then walked through the door. “The same reason you decided to kiss me.”
That made Snow pause and a flush of color appear on her cheeks. But she rubbed her nose flashing a grin at her. “I’m gonna help you,” Ryza said.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay. By the way who’s the demon specialist you know? And why am I not surprised you know a demon specialist.”
“My uncle,” Ryza said.
When the door closed behind her Snow let her shoulders sag. She reached across her back and touched just above her shoulder. The birthmark that had always been there was itching. She called it a birthmark but it didn’t appear there until she transformed for the first time. She wondered if it still looked like a flower.
But when she closed her eyes, she saw it in her head. The six glowing red eyes looking back at her. She’d never seen anything like this before. The wolf that stalked the inside of her mind had always looked like a normal wolf, just large. But even in the shadows right now she could tell it was something more.
It growled stepping forward and that single sound was laced with so many words. Veiled threats. Promises of violence and control. It spoke more to her in that moment more than any other living being had spoken to her before. She took a step back, gasping, and when she blinked it was gone.
She gripped the chair behind her, feeling her breath quicken, and then turned away. She could feel it. Feel it inside her. It knew that it was strong now and knew that it could take over. Now, all it was going to do was wait.
She shut her eyes tightly and felt a shaking sob escape her lips. The moment she let her guard down it would pounce and even with Ryza around, she wasn’t sure that she would come back.
The Harlequin Library 